I haven't figured out yet what I think about John Kerry. I'm up and down and back and forth.
So I've decided to begin reading as much as possible about him. Send me recommendations.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/28/buffy.scholars.ap/index.html
Buffyologists from as far away as Singapore were presenting 190 papers on topics ranging from "slayer slang" to "postmodern reflections on the culture of consumption" to "Buffy and the new American Buddhism."
The conference attracted 325 people.
The NASIG conference so far has 595 folks signed up. Thank god!
So I'm dealing with a ton of information. I am not finding a lot of joyous relief in this information.
Summary: a string of decisions separated two people; this same string of decisions will keep us separate.
I am blessed to have been adopted. I am a very blessed person.
Things that I have in my future:
Diabetes *
Arthritis *
Weight problem * [already have]
High Blood pressure *
Cancer
Myopia [already have]
Presbyopia
Female Pattern Baldness
* preventable if I change my bad habits
* info on how to prevent
Feelings? I am much more comfortable with my own decisions about adoption. If I have children, I will adopt. I am much more grateful to my parents and for the decisions that they made in raising me. I am grateful to myself for being the woman that I am. I am much more proud of my achievements and personal decisions. I feel prepared for my life and ready for anything that comes my way. All of this comes from my life with my parents and brother and sister.
Life does not just happen. We are fully engaged in it and every decision that we make takes us down a different path. I accept every decision that affected me. I in no way intend to try to turn back time.
My visitor from the past arrives today. She'll be here this evening through Wednesday morning at 6.
Ted Koppel's address to UC Berkeley grads
5/14/2004 3:43:45 PM
"I know that many of you here today oppose the war in Iraq. [moderate applause] I do not. [louder applause] I have many questions and reservations about how that war is being conducted, but I don't oppose it. We may have another occasion, perhaps, to debate that issue, but that is not my purpose here this afternoon....
That is a debate we should have had 18 months ago. Still, here it is, and my concern is over how it should be conducted. Whether your generation will have the patience and the courtesy to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of those with whom you disagree.
Whether my generation will have the humility to admit not simply that mistakes were made, but that we have made them."
From: http://poynter.org/forum/?id=misc
For TED KOPPEL'S SPEECH click on link below:
Ted Koppel's address to UC Berkeley grads
5/14/2004 3:43:45 PM
Ted Koppel's address to the UC Berkeley graduating class was transcribed by Jonathan King, editor of the Berkeleyan, which is the faculty/ staff newspaper. He writes to Romenesko:
I've just finished transcribing Koppel's address to the Class of 2004 at its Convocation Ceremony this afternoon. He was invited to make the keynote address by the class itself, was very warmly received, and spoke for about 15 minutes. I'm sending along the transcript, which I've edited only at the top, to excise some irrelevant pleasantries about his height and hair (and Stanford pedigree).
KOPPEL'S SPEECH
I'm always a little bemused to receive an invitation like this from a
truly great educational institution like Berkeley. After all, if I were to apply for admission here as a freshman, I'd be turned down in a heartbeat. But it's not false modesty; it's reality. You're smarter than I am, and you know it. And as far as you've given any thought at all to what I do, you think I'm just another pretty face on
television who'd be incapable of conducting an interview if my
producer were not whispering the questions into my earpiece.
Sadly though, from my point of view, most of you don't even watch
television news at all. You get what you need from the Internet, or,
in a pinch, you might watch Jon Stewart on Comedy Central. [applause] For the next 10 or 12 minutes, however, you out there are obliged to listen to what I up here am going to tell you. Consider that one of your first real-life experiences.
From here on in, unless you go to graduate school, you will likely be
reporting to, taking instructions from, and working for people who
aren't nearly as smart as you are. If you are nearly as smart as you know yourselves to be, you will keep that revelation to yourselves.
Lest you consider what I am going to say next as having a political
undertone, let me preface it by saying say that my own undergraduate career, which was at Syracuse University, rarely even rose to the dizzying heights of mediocrity. I blossomed at Stanford, but I was a C+ student as an undergraduate ä as was George W. Bush when he went to Yale. Dick Cheney, meanwhile, has conceded that it took him six years to get through Yale because of what he has described as a "sub-par academic performance." He, of course, is now the most powerful vice president ever to occupy that office; George W. is -- well, you all know what he is; and as previously noted, I'm up here and you're up there, waiting for me to finish. Life is not fair./CONTINUED BELOW
Koppel's graduation speech/CONTINUED
5/14/2004 3:31:58 PM
I am simply raising a cautionary flag. Many of you are about to set
foot in the real world for the first time, and the rules are different out there. Your academic record, for example, which is the source of justifiable pride for so many of you here today - put it away and forget about it. From here on in, unless you are applying to law school or medical school or seeking a Ph.D., you will rarely if ever again be asked about it. And frankly, given the state of grade inflation these days, it's difficulty to argue that the document has much value to begin with. [some grumbling] The fact that you attended a great university may help you get a job interview; it may even help you get a job. Beyond that, no one is ever likely to mention it again.
Graduating classes on occasions like these are accustomed to hearing that "You are remarkable ä extraordinary ä that the world, indeed, has never seen your like before." Horse manure. I am much more impressed by those among your parents and grandparents who risked their lives fleeing Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia as boat people; who while speaking barely any English at all worked at whatever jobs they could get to sustain and support you. [Vigorous applause.] They are the ones who maintain the discipline that kept you out of trouble and forced you to study. There are Indians and Pakistanis among you; Bangladeshis, Mexicans, Hondurans, Nicaraguans, Palestinians, Lebanese; Chinese, Koreans, and African Americans whose families who
have endured similar hardships to bring you to the point you've
reached today. And even those of you who have come from relatively privileged backgrounds are probably no more than two or three generations removed from the Irish, Italian, Polish and Russian immigrants who fled the political and economic hardships of the mid and late 1800s. Or the Jews who fled the Holocaust of 65 years ago, or the pogroms of more than 100 years past. Those were remarkable generations, extraordinary generations. [Vigorous applause.] They planted all of the hopes and dreams that they would never realize in us and in you. And on this day where we have gathered to honor you, you would do well once again to honor them.
A few words now about war and patriotism and dissent. This campus has a longstanding reputation as a hotbed of antiwar activism. Those of us who were in college during the 1950s looked with awe, and I think a certain envy, at the students who marched and demonstrated and even rioted in Paris in the mid-'60s. For university students to be so politically and personally engaged was beyond our experience. The greatest moral dilemma that most of us encountered during the Eisenhower administration was whether to order a quarter or a half a keg. Even so, your predecessors during the late '60s and early '70s gave us pause. It was shocking and not a little frightening to see the level of rebellion that existed on this campus.
And before I go any farther I don't want there any misunderstanding between us. I know that many of you here today oppose the war in Iraq. [moderate applause] I do not. [louder applause] I have many questions and reservations about how that war is being conducted, but I don't oppose it. We may have another occasion, perhaps, to debate that issue, but that is not my purpose here this afternoon. There is a national debate building in this country over the legitimacy of this war, and whether U.S. forces should have been sent to Iraq in the first place; and whether ultimately the war is even winnable. It is terribly late. That is a debate we should have had 18 months ago. Still, here it is, and my concern is over how it should be conducted. Whether your generation will have the patience and the courtesy to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of those with whom you disagree.
Whether my generation will have the humility to admit not simply that mistakes were made, but that we have made them./CONTINUED BELOW
Koppel's graduation speech/CONTINUED
5/14/2004 3:23:57 PM
We have become so embroiled in the distaste we have for one another's ideologies that we are losing sight of the real peril that confronts us. Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks on 9/11, and invoking the war against terrorism for the U.S. invasion of Iraq invites skepticism. Still, terrorism is not a figment of this administration's imagination. It doesn't matter what you believe the United States is doing or may have done to earn the enmity of so many people around the world; someone has to be thinking about the consequences of that hatred, even as we consider what can reasonably done to address it. It now appears that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq at the time that U.S. forces invaded. But chemical, biological, and even nuclear weapons do exist, and some do exist in the hands of our enemies. Do not doubt for a moment that at some point in the next few years that one or another of those weapons will almost surely be used in an act of terrorism against the United States in the United States. Then the time for discussing our civil liberties will be over. More than likely the use of a chemical or biological weapon in a terrorist attack against the U.S. homeland would lead to the imposition of martial law. For how long and under what circumstances it would be lifted again has not, to the best of my knowledge, ever been publicly addressed. But understand that the most implacable enemy of our civil liberties is fear: What we will do after the next terrorist attack is not a conversation that should be deferred. The time for that national debate is now. As important as it may be to argue over the rights of Iraqi prisoners of war, those horrific photographs have largely obscured the context in which the abuses took place. The perceived need to obtain more and better intelligence in the face of a mounting Iraqi insurgency late last fall created the environment in which those human-rights abuses took place. It is quite extraordinary that so much attention is being focused on the
culpability of a bunch of young military police when they in fact
were clearly operating under guidelines that had been set much, much further up the command chain. [Applause] It is the legitimacy of those guidelines that require public discussion. And yet, what have we been debating for these past few months? The nature of George W. Bush's service in the Air National Guard more than 30 years ago, while he was working on a senatorial campaign in Alabama? The value of John Kerry's military service in Vietnam once he'd appeared at the same antiwar rally as Jane Fonda? What madness! Do we really believe we can rise to the great challenges that confront us by endlessly questioning one another's motives and patriotism? There are decisions that will be addressed or ignored over the next few months that will set the course of human and civil rights in this country for years to come. There is a direct correlation between the perception of threats to America's security and the contraction of our rights and freedoms. We need to critically examine the nature and scope of those threats, and where they exist we must be prepared to calibrate our rights, and even our freedoms. If we fail to do that now, in a time of relative sanity when it is still possible for voices of moderation to be heard, then we will have condemned ourselves to having those choices made in a climate of national hysteria.
I've already conceded to you that you're smarter than I am. Well,
you'll have to be. This is one hell of a mess that we've created for
you. Having said that, never doubt for a moment the greatness of this country's heritage, or the generosity of the opportunities that it
still provides. Some people have a greater tolerance for the opinions of our enemies overseas than they do for the opinions of their adversaries here at home. The tolerance part is a good thing: see if you can help spread it around. We're going to need all the tolerance for one another that we can get. [Applause]
From: http://poynter.org/forum/?id=misc
When I was looking for the Mother Jones article Molly Ivins wrote about W in 2003, I found this from Time Mag from December 2000.
Yes, We'll Survive, by Molly Ivins
Prescient and fascinating.
W was here yesterday--Laura, too. Having a nice little day with daughter, Barbara. Judge Guido's wife, Anne Calabresi, joined in an anti-war protest that was poorly attended. Air Force One blew shingles off East shore neighborhoods as it landed at Tweed.
But I, I worked in my little patio garden and yard all day Saturday and Sunday. I got myself a few more freckles and a joyful time. My basil is growing up so nicely. I'm happy as a lark.
I got in to work a little before 7 this morning. On the Grove St. entrance, a man was using tools in the lock to the entrance door. I greeted him and he stood up and said that he didn't have a key to get in. I said, 'uh, huh. You're allowed to get in?' I asked, a little hinky. He whipped out his ...ID and he was a member of the State Police Bomb Squad. I then said, 'I'll let you in; should I stay out?" He laughed and said, no he just wanted to see the repair work; he hadn't been back since he saw the aftermath. So I let him in and Joe (our beloved security guard) took over and showed him Rm. 120. Ends up that he had just arrived early to take a peek at our cleanup work and then meet up with his colleagues and the sniffer dogs to make the campus rounds before the graduation events begin.
Good morning, YLS!
In about two hours, we will have crossed 1 year since the Yale Law School bomb. I can still feel it in my bones.
Local news blurb: http://www.wtnh.com/global/story.asp?s=1886369&ClientType=Printable
Another
http://1010wins.com/topstories/winstopstories_story_140071305.html
The YLS Bombing photos (site was not endorsed by the YLS administration).
What I experienced that day.
Today there were slight, subtle reminders that people are thinking about it. The New Haven mobile emergency response bus was parked outside our windows in the office--the large electrical/communications cable linked through a gap in the windows (very much like it was all weekend this time last year). There are a few more security guards and various patrols. I'm just working away the day, though my staff mention it in little spurts.
People are more or less ok with it, though everyone wants closure. That won't happen ever--unless they find the perp.
http://web.wm.edu/news/index.php?id=3650
"We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui."
http://slate.msn.com/id/2100717/
"But there is no serious way of having this cake and scarfing it. I remember a debate I had with Michael Moore—the newly crowned king of the Cannes Film Festival—at the more modest location of the Telluride Film Festival in 2002. Ridiculing the Bush administration's policy, he shouted that it had gone into Afghanistan to get Osama Bin Laden and Mullah Omar. "Mission NOT accomplished!" he added, to roars of easy applause. I asked myself then, and I repeat the question now: Would the antiwar camp have approved the measures necessary to ensure those goals? If they will the end, will they will the means? Would they taunt that lawyer in Tampa, as they taunt the supporters of regime change, with living a quiet life at home while others die in the field? Isn't the refusal to take out the leaders of al-Qaida a bit of a distraction from the struggle against al-Qaida?"
Regarding Prez Bush and Israel:
Senator Hollings (d) of South Carolina:
"Every president since 1947 has made a futile attempt to help Israel negotiate peace. But no leadership has surfaced amongst the Palestinians that can make a binding agreement. President Bush realized his chances at negotiation were no better. He came to office imbued with one thought -- re-election. Bush felt tax cuts would hold his crowd together and spreading democracy in the Mideast to secure Israel would take the Jewish vote from the Democrats. You don't come to town and announce your Israel policy is to invade Iraq. But George W. Bush, as stated by former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill and others, started laying the groundwork to invade Iraq days after inauguration. And, without any Iraq connection to 9/11, within weeks he had the Pentagon outlining a plan to invade Iraq. He was determined."
From: http://hollings.senate.gov/~hollings/opinion/2004506A17.html
Of course, I'm not as cynical as he is to think that it is _only_ about getting votes...and the point of getting votes is to take sides with a contingent--meaning to support them if not to actually believe like they do ... I believe that GW _believes_ that supporting Israel 100% it is the right thing to do. Which is scarier than doing or saying something just to get votes, which is what I believe the current democrat candidate does all the time.
It is a silly argument to me to say that he does or says something just to get votes--at least in regards to GW. GW is fully convinced that he is god's chosen man in Washington. JerUSAlem, baby!
I wish that the politics would take things further--not the fringe implication, but the REALITY of a person's belief system. Scare the bejesus out of this nation--acknowledge that our policies support the State of Israel and will do so until Israel has gone too far.
Everyone knows the story of Armageddon, right? That is the big battle IN ISRAEL, not the US, where the entire world turns against Israel and destroys everything living and breathing in its wake. Every policy is a wink and a nod, a setup for failure. These guys, like GW, don't want peace. Peace peace everywhere and yet there is no peace. Talk the talk, dude. The walk says it all. Give Israel whatever it wants to 'secure' itself. One day they will go too far and every nation will pounce and say, 'well, it was about time.'
The same goes for the religious fanatics about the U.S. They actually want the least moral, most corrupt, last days of Rome nation... Lead us all astray-- the 'righteous' will have something to complain about--like Abraham pleading for Lot's life--and god will have a reasonable excuse to destroy our pagan asses. The religious right want, desire, plead with god for the end of the world. The end of the world means, to them, final, ultimate justice and heaven on earth. Everything else is (and should be to them) suffering and pain and sorrow and persecution.
There are some who believe that they are causal, catalystic forces working the will of god on this earth...the setup in Israel, the 'signs' of the end--all can be enacted and carried out by man's hands...a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We will destroy ourselves. Every religion has predicted it. And we just happen to have the power to destroy not only our own civilization, but the whole world. That particular fact makes the story of armageddon all the more interesting --that never in our history have we had the capability to fulfill our own prophecies. Until now. This day and age. The end days.
Boy, am I obsessing today.
I'm going to go watch the final, series end of ANGEL. Can't wait to see how the world ends in LA.
I should clarify what I scared Morris with: I told him that there were many willing in the christian fundamentalist community, or so it was explained to me, who would endorse the blowing up of the Dome of the Rock so that the zionists could rebuild the temple as that rebuilding is a requirement for the second coming of the lord. It must be in place for Christ to return. It is part of the big plan. And I said that I fully believed that it would not be Israel (Sharon) who would obliterate it, but a fundamentalist christian.
So that is a scary thought. We have ranchers in Montana and Texas who are breeding red cows for the first temple sacrifices. We have thousands and thousands of dollars going to the West Bank law breakers. The preparations are being made to fulfill the 'requirement' of the state of Israel having the original god-given borders (which is a chunk of Lebanon and Syria and most of Jordan). ALL of our U.S. policies have that underlying theme. What they tend to leave out is the full endorsement of the eradication of the non-Jew as was demanded by god in the old testament OVER and OVER --even cattle, sheep, livestock were to be slain, women, children. anyone who is non-Jew.
This is deep inside of me. This is why I obsess on the 1970s. the 1980s. Those 'treaties' and agreements that tolerate horrors. It just is what must be to them, those who still believe.
Prez Bush believes that god gave him the presidency because god controls the heart of the king. Our kings are the Supreme Court. There are no higher powers of justice for us. Thus the hearts of our justices were turned by God to rule him in to office.
It is a damn fascinating study.
This Village Voice article encapsulates everything that I'm obsessing on these past three years. They got it right.
http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0420/perlstein.php
I talk about this subject regularly...I think that I scared my lunch friend Morris Cohen about it once at Mory's. He gave me a funny look...but the tenets of the faith are still very instilled. My reactionary tendencies immediately bring me to look up into the sky for a sign of the return every time something horrid happens. That still freaks me out. I shake my head and shudder to think that that was the god that I worshiped--the god who feels the need to add further pain and suffering on the world than already exists by our own hands.
I'm involved with three organizations: ALA, AALL, and NASIG. I've jumped in with AALL full gait for the past three years, but have decided to remove myself from that path and focus on the others. With ALA, I'm fully imbedded--ALCTS work mostly, but I served on the Nominations Committee and have this week been appointed to WAC (Web Advisory Committee).
All the same, I'm starting to pick out things that I don't want to do anymore. So much of what I'm becoming involved with is not work; it is busywork. Committee service is a good thing in my experience. Board work is not. Or at least it is not under specific circumstances. I'm starting to pick that type of thing out as what I don't want to do. And I'm starting to feel comfortable saying why: because it is silly and full of artifice. Again under certain circumstances.
But, the burden is on me to start saying, no, I'm not interested in that. Thank you anyway. Hubris and fulfillment are difficult to separate in life. sometimes.
What a wonderful day to be in NYC. I tubed all over Manhattan and Brooklyn--went shopping, then out to see Jarmusch's latest at the Landmark Sunshine (Houston St.) and then went over to BAM to catch Tony Kushner's Homebody/Kabul. Both are unequivocally recommended.
In Kushner's play, a librarian (pre-Taliban) in Afghanistan is a main character and narrative feature. One of her lines compares the dewey decimal system as a universal language, along with science and music, one that brings us to knowledge. It was a stunning portrayal of longing for books, for the freedom to read.
The play could still be edited a bit, but everyone was engaging and the story itself is important.
I also just enjoyed myself in Brooklyn. I wasn't in the best and most interesting of areas while there, but it always reminds me that NYC is a city of real people. I tend to forget that if I spend all of my visits in Manhattan.
I had to admit that I'm finally getting shocked by 'young people' and their fashion statements. But bones in the nose and ears along with heavy stud tongue piercings just shocks the hell out of me. I'm tattoo'd and find that side of things art. Maybe it is the assumed pain in stretching your lobes and lips to extreme levels all for urban tribalism. It's just shocking to me. And I relished my fascination.
The Dallas News has an article following up on changes to the arrest policies of the Highland Park police:
Loews on 68th and Broadway:
Coffee and Cigarettes 11:45 AM, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10:00, 12:30
Kill Bill: Volume 2 12:30 PM, 3:45, 7:05, 10:20
Paris Theatre at 58th and 5th
Valentin 11:45 AM, 1:45, 3:45, 5:45, 7:50, 9:50
I got an early birthday present today: a Tungsten E--work supplied, I accessorized.
My mom sent me two packages of my favorite cornbread mix (with jalapenos!) and my sister sent me an Irish cookbook, which I found to be a hilarious gift...and I got a few bucks from dad that I'm going to blow on movies and yarn from Purl in NYC on Friday. Can't wait!
And so it really begins. My birthmom and I have made plans that she come up to visit me at the house over Memorial Day weekend/early week.
My brother's not living with me at the moment, so I have a clean and tidy guest room and so all I need to do is calm down and keep walking through these doors.
It is a new day.
I've been driving up to Northampton with my housemate every Monday in May to take a knitting class. I'm loving every minute on the road (lovely drive), getting out of New Haven (and not missing it one bit), and spending time with a bunch of women who want a good hobby and to talk shop and share encouragement. It is a ton of fun. I'm such a grown up now.
Webs is having a big sale this weekend--in honor of being around for three decades: http://www.yarn.com/
So we talked for about 5 hours on Friday night. My feelings are a little confused.
The conversation is so smooth, like we both know enough about each other to feel like we already know each other.
The confusion comes from the change itself. I've always known facts, but now it seems more real--like I'm experiencing a change in my understanding of reality. I have half-brothers, but what does that mean? They don't know about me. I know more about a bunch of other people than they know about me. I feel like a spy.
I've gone online and found pictures of my birth father and of my half brothers. I've even ordered a picture of my birth father with one of his racing cars. And I'm asking myself if it is true and what I should think about it.
So well. plans are being made to actually meet. Perhaps in June. Until then I'm learning a lot about myself as well as learning a lot about others.
And she confirmed for me everything about my family background. I'm Irish (Grandfather) and German (Grandmother). My adoptive family is Scottish and German.
But I knew all that already. It is just interesting to find out for certain.
I have half-brothers! I just found a picture of my half-brother Jay.
My birth father knows that I exist. I wonder if my half-brothers do?
In 36 hours I have met my birth mom over the phone, found out all about my birth dad. Family history. Proximity--my birth mother lived within 3 miles of my family homes for all of my childhood.
I found out that my birth dad was on the racing circuit in Texas (he only retired recently) and that I have at least two half-brothers.
And now everyone on that side of the family wants to meet me.
I'm very tired and just beginning to think what this all means.
My family is calling wondering what I know now...it has been a fast paced race of info. And the internet is one damn powerful tool.I even found a picture of my birthdad from 1968 (he's kinda famous, if you are in to car racing).
More after I get some sleep.
Well, I might not be putting this blog to sleep after all.
Back in August 2001, I put an entry in the Texas Adoption Search Registry.
I got an email this a.m. from my birth mother.
I know a lot of facts, her name, a few misc. details, etc.
But after almost three years, an actual contact.
So. I may want to tell about this new change in my life.
More as it unfolds.
I'll not be writing for the summer months. From now through probably August. I realized that I have nothing to say and I'm wanting to do some other interesting things. Like my knitting class. music. writing other things. travels. big work projects. and otherwise letting this blog sleep.
Friends: you know where to find me.
S
So I wasn't elected. I didn't come in last. I would like the chance to run again next year. A few of my friends got elected and that is a very good thing.
Not that Council necessarily is doing anybody any good anyhow. I'll watch them more closely by keeping up with the discussion and actions. ALA is important and the org can do great things.
Congrats everybody!
I attended a furneral today at the St. Paul's UAME church here in New Haven. My soul was touched. May the family find comfort, love and hope surrounded by their loved ones and friends.
Everyone who blogs should read this article posted on April 30, 2004 from Reason.com
"Links to Terrorism: Build a Web site, go to jail" Jacob Sullum
"During their opening statement in Sami Al-Hussayen's trial at the federal courthouse in Boise, Idaho, prosecutors put a new spin on the slippery concept of "links to terrorism." The Idaho Statesman reports that they "displayed a chart" showing how a Web site that Al-Hussayen had helped maintain "could eventually access 20 other sites with ties to radical organizations."
Talk about guilt by association. Given the interconnected nature of the World Wide Web (they don't call it a "web" for nothing), just about any site with hyperlinks "could eventually access" something sinister."
http://www.kgw.com/sharedcontent/APStories/stories/D829GF501.html
I am so in love with Uma.
I'm going to have to think a bit about this movie. It was so unbelievably violent. And I so unfuckingbelievably loved it.
Yeah Yeah. I walk like Jane Mansfield, too.
Sigh.